STEVEN SEAWEED AT THE 2004 TOUR DE FRANCE

THE BONE IS BACK!

A couple of years ago i was in Austin, Texas for the Ride For The Roses to benefit the Lance Armstrong Foundation. We were riding in a small group of cyclists (50 people) when Lance came up behind me, saw my Bone cycling jersey, and said "The Bone is back!" Very cool that he remembered me from the year before. Well, the Bone is now back for the 2004 Tour de France and boy are we excited. I'm sure you've heard - if Lance wins he gets the record - six in a row. This picture was taken right at the finish line on the Champs-Elysees with the Arc de Triomphe in the background. Napolean built that thing in the 1800's because he was feeling, well, triumphant! This day, the man who was triumphant was Lance Armstrong.

MY NEW FAVORITE CITY

Paris!  This place is awesome.  Were staying in the Hotel du Levant in the Latin Quarter on the Left Bank. That's as opposed to the Right Bank (of the river - The Seine - which splits the city in half). No matter which side you're on though, the place is jumpin' until way past midnight. You've never been in a more alive city in your life. Street musicians, shoppers, break dancers, bike riders, hot women, great food, and some very old buildings. Actually, the Hotel du Levant is fairly new - it's only been around a couple hundred years.

WAIT......THERE'S A RACE GOING ON

We spent one night in Paris before heading south in the Bone RV (or "Camping Car" as the French say) to the mighty Alps. Mighty big that is. And pretty spectacular, too.  I gotta tell you, the first half of the Tour de France has been a little boring. Mostly because it's been pretty flat, although i did hear one Frenchman say, "There are no flat roads in France." Up untill now, the races have pretty much ended in one large badass sprint to the line with all the Big Dogs banging into each other at 45 miles per hour and hoping nobody crashes. While this is going on Lance Armstrong cruises with his Postal boys just trying to stay out of trouble. Actually, in the two weeks before i got there, 2/3 of all the racers had crashed, including Lance (twice). Don't get me wrong, there's nothing more exciting than a sprint finish at a bike race, but the big mountains are where the race is won and lost. Like here......

VILLARD DE LANS

Just one of many cute little ski towns in the French Alps and the finish of my very first stage in person at the Tour de France. Ever since they started showing the thing live on TV, I'd get up at home at six every morning to watch. I was a cycling zombie for 3 weeks in July. Still am, but now I actually get to stand right there at the finish line! More on the outrageous benefits of a press pass later, but for now let me just say that it was very cool to watch Lance win a sprint finish - an uphill sprint finish - in person!  This picture was taken lying on the ground, holding the camera around the barriers just as Lance was about to cross the finish line. That finish was not only uphill, but into a headwind. I know, because a couple of hours earlier, I'd ridden it just to remind myself that I am but a mere mortal on the bicycle and these guys are on another planet, for god's sake.  A few minutes after this shot, Lance slipped on the yellow jersey for the first time this year. He would not be taking it off.

THE PODIUM GIRLS

Here we are "backstage" waiting for all the day's winners to step up to the podium and get their trophies and their jerseys and their french kisses from the extremely hot podium girls. Actually in this context, a "french kiss" is what you might call a double-smooch on the cheek - like you always see on TV. And some of the guys even go for the three-cheek-sneak. We even saw one Spaniard racer plant four smooches on his pampered presenter. Lucky dogs. As I will be pointing out with much regularity further on, French women are absolutely stunning. No wonder George Hincapie, Lance's teammate on U.S.Postal, recently married one of the podium girls from last year. (editor's note: Lance Armstrong has put on the Maillot Jaune - the yellow jersey - 66 times in his career. With two smooches per podium girl and two girls per presentation -  that would be 264 prime-time make-out sessions for our boy.) One of our favorite Lance quotes: "I love the Tour de France,  It's my buddy."

THE MADNESS......ABOUT TO BEGIN

Ever since they announced the route of the 2004 Tour de France last October, all anybody could talk about was stage 16 - the uphill time trial on L'Alpe d'Huez, one of the most famous climbs in cycling. You just knew it would be crazy. Nine miles straight up. A 4,000' climb on 21 switchbacks carved out of the side of a hill with a million crazed cycling fans lining the route. They would close the incoming road 20 miles back at five in the morning. Seven hours earlier we found ourselves in a 2 hour backup - and that was just to the base of the mountain. Another hour in the Bone RV crawling up those 21 switchbacks with trusty press pass in hand, and we arrived at the town of Alpe d'Huez, one of Europe's largest and highest and most spectacular ski resorts. Along the way we encountered a rather large contingent of hard-partying Europeans - Germans in particular - who'd been there for days. Waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

SLOW RIDE

When in France, do as the French do. Which is to ride up L'Alpe d'Huez. But first you have to ride down, which involves weaving your way in between those millions of fans who are walking or riding their bikes up to watch the race some six hours later. Here's the crazy part. It took us longer (45 minutes) to ride down than it took Lance to ride up (39 min, 41 sec) when he won that afternoon. And riding up was a bitch, let me tell you. Hot and long and steep and relentless! I've climbed Mt Diablo twice in one day, and this was way harder. Ok, I'll stop whining, but i am proud to say that Lance Armstrong was exactly three times as fast as me on the climb. Tres rapide!

THE FASTEST GUY ON THE PLANET?

Pretty much.  In spite of having to ride his bike through what my friend Doug called "A combination of Burning Man, The Super Bowl, Woodstock, and The World Cup," Lance Armstrong was one minute and one second faster than the second place guy on L'Alpe d'Huez, to say nothing of being an hour and 20 minutes faster than this old and slow writer. You can't imagine how nuts it is without actually being there. First of all, the Europeans are absolute cycling maniacs. Add to that large contingents of Aussies, Dutch, and Americans who've been partying all day and waiting for just one guy to pass their way, Lance Armstrong. To alot of fans, he's like the New York Yankees, he doesn't lose, so there's a little resentment at times. Most  people do respect him as a great champion. A couple of Germans spit on him. When I interviewed him later in the day, Armstrong said two things: "There was a lot of emotion," and "When people flip me the bird, it only makes me go faster." Yeah, like today.

BONE APPETITE!

I never had the pleasure of actually eating at that trendy Parisian restaurant, Le Sully, but i did manage to run into a fine eating eastiblishment pretty much every time I turned a corner in Paris. I snapped this photo in honor of the man himself, Super Producer Sully from the Bone Morning Show. Sully knows that, like French women, French food is pretty spectacular. And they take their time serving it too. You need to allow at least 2 hours for dinner (and 2 more to walk it off). So who's complaining? A warm summer night in Paris, Sitting at a sidewalk cafe with nothing better to do than watch the world go by and eat the best food in the universe. Life is good. So is the food. 

TOUGH DAY, TOUGH WINNER

Stage 17 was brutally difficult, the toughest on the Tour. Five badass climbs over 132 miles through the French Alps with almost 17,000 feet of elevation gain. We were on the fifth and final climb of the day and it was 97 degrees. To get there, we rode the bikes up.......and up......and up......then parked ourselves in a sweet little shady spot along side the road. Thats where I took this photo of Lance and the Posties about to catch the leading group right before the summit. I get the feeling that most people who watch the Tour in person are there for only one stage - the one that goes through their area. We met the nicest French people that day. They're out there 3-4 hours before the racers even get there (in full picnic mode) and they're so into cycling it's crazy. The Tour de France is the largest free sporting event on the planet. World Cup soccer and the Olympics are bigger, but they take place every four years so that makes the Tour the biggest annual sporting event of all time. Ya gotta see it to believe it. Unfortunately, being up on the mountain, we missed one of the great finishes ever in the Tour de France that day. Lance, of course. Saw it on tape. Awesome again.

ROADSIDE PHOTOS FROM STAGE 17

"Tickle," a long-haired dachsund and his French owner who was only to happy to demonstrate his bag of doggie tricks

Waiting for the racers to come, this kid was taking pictures while wearing his daddy's polka dot "climbers jersey." The dad was wearing it by the time his hero, Richard Virenque, pedalled by.

Floyd Landis, who Lance called "The man of the day," leading his teamates up the climb. The sign says "Thanks U.S.Postal. Go Lance. Of Calais." There's that same little boy....without his polka dot jersey.

The very last rider up that climb, getting a push from a fan. Allez! Allez! He's dead last for god's sake....give the guy a break. At least he finished.

A little traffic jam getting to the finish at Le Grand Bornand, near the Swiss border. A guy and his dog herding cows down the middle of the street didn't help.

The Bone RV, ready for a night high in the French Alps. That's my friend, Doug Sovern, from KCBS.

Inside the Bone RV. Very well organized.

Sorry, couldn't resist. It's the same girls every day. Tough gig.

WAITING

You do alot of that at the Tour de France.  Waiting in long lines of traffic to get into town. Waiting in long lines of traffic to get out of town. But mostly just waiting for the racers to get there.  Which says a lot for watching it on TV. They're racing 4-6 hours a day. If you've planted yourself on a hillside, it might take 15 minutes for every rider to pass by your little roadside party. If you're on the flats, you might get 30 seconds. The finish line is always exciting. This picture was taken at Lons-le-Saunier, the third-to-last day of the race and the last of the big mountains. It was supposed to be an uneventful stage, so we decided not to wait around. Naturally we went for a bike ride.

AND LOOK WHAT WE FOUND!

The Chateau du Pin. House of the pine tree. Just came across it while wandering the backroads of the French countryside. I'm telling you, these things are all over the place. This particular castle was built in the 13th century and features an honest-to-goodness dungeon. You know, just in case you were captured trying to rape and pillage. The woman who lives there has been around for 66 years, and her mother took care of the place before her.

Very sweet woman, sorry I forgot her name. She spoke excellent English and even had the Tour de France on her TV inside the castle. Total cost: 4 euros. We even made it back in time for the finish.

IT'S A LOCK

Lance would say nothing's over till it's over and anything can happen, which of course is true, but let's face it, he's the strongest guy in the race......by far. If there's any doubters by now, please just shut up. Here we are in Besancon, the final time trial before Paris. Lance Armstrong has always said that the guy wearing the yellow jersey, the maillot jaune, has to show that he's the strongest rider even if he has a cushion of 6 minutes, 38 seconds. Which he had. So he went out and demolished the field......again. Unfortunately we had to return the Bone RV in Paris that night, so we could only stay for the start of the race. That's a U.S.Postal mechanic working on a wheel.

MORE PHOTOS FROM BESANCON

The last guy starts first in a time trial. They call him the lanterne rouge, the "Tail-Ender." Jimmy Casper, a Frenchman almost 4 hours behind Armstrong is the man. And it's raining. Jimmy ended up in 128th place today, but overall he's still the lanterne rouge

Breakfast with The Weedman. In France, there's a bakery on every corner, which we took advantage of on a daily basis. Cappuccino's too. Yum!

No bull, this was a cow. And I still don't know why she was at the Tour de France. By the way, I rang that bell and realized that my roomate, Doug's, snoring was way louder.

Break dancing is huge on the streets of Paris. Six guys and one girl breaking at the Tour de France was awesome. Loved it!

Doug Sovern, award winning reporter from KCBS and Rick Reilly from Sports Illustrated, 9 time National Sportswriter of the Year.