11-20-09
COONHOUND TREES SELF INSTEAD OF RACOON
11-19-09
STEVEN TYLER PSYCHOANALYSIS
“He doesn’t act like a sober person”
-Aerosmith guitarist Brad Whitford.
“I hope that Steven takes the time to put the focus on Steven and get healthy and take care of himself”
-Aerosmith Drummer Joey Kramer.
“I never won any money trying to second-guess what goes on in Steven’s mind"
-Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry.
11-18-09
WHO'S DOING SUPERBOWL HALFTIME?
Correct. The Who will be playing during halftime festivities at Super Bowl XLIV, February 7th in Miami, to be broadcast on CBS.
Should be very exciting. Halfway through the Colts-Saints Super Bowl, Pete Townsend, Roger Daltrey and the boys will rock the joint bigtime!
What's that? Oh, it's not for sure about Indy and New Orleans?
Well it IS for sure that The Who will be onstage at Dolphin Stadium that day. They just haven't announced it yet.
Think it has anything to do with the fact that three of the CSI series on CBS use Who tracks — Who Are You, Won’t Get Fooled Again and Baba O’ Riley — as their theme songs?
Look for the official announcement on Turkey Day.
11-17-09
NO CONTEST
ARGENTINIAN PAMELA DAVID, OF THE CHILEAN TV GAME SHOW, NOCHE DE JUEGOS (Night of Games)
AMERICAN ROSIE O'DONNELL, FORMERLY OF THE U.S. TV SHOW, THE VIEW (Elisabeth Hasselbeck, bite me)
11-16-09
LEAD SINGER OF MISSING PERSONS FOUND IN JAIL
Dale Bozzio, lead singer of Missing Persons, was jailed last Thursday in New Hampshire on animal cruelty charges.
If you've never heard of this woman before, she was kind of like the Lady Gaga of the 80's; a more outrageous Gwen Stefani, perhaps
Bozzio, 54, is a singer and a former Playboy bunny. She did vocals for Frank Zappa’s album Joe’s Garage and used to have a band called Missing Persons.
Apparently neighbors found several sick, alive, and dead cats in her empty house. Bozzio says that the person she hired to take care of the cats while she was out of town never showed up, “I don’t want anyone to think I deliberately did harm.”
That said, she was convicted on one count of animal cruelty, sentenced to 90 days in jail, fined $2700 for euthanization of twelve cats and required to complete 250 hours of community service.
Dale Bozzio - Destination Unknown.
11-13-09
LET'S CATCH UP AFTER THE WEEKEND
11-1209
VIETNAM VETS NOT FONDA JANE
Time to move on.
It's been over 20 years since Jane Fonda apologized for her activities in North Vietnam during the war,".....to men who were in Vietnam, who I hurt, or whose pain I caused to deepen because of things that I said or did. I was trying to help end the killing and the war, but there were times when I was thoughtless and careless about it and I'm very sorry that I hurt them. And I want to apologize to them and their families."
Besides, Jane is about to turn 72 and she's still having great sex, and is about to get married for the fourth time, and plans to climb the Himalayas a year from now in spite of a new knee and a new hip made of titanium, "I'm happier, the sex is better and I understand life better. I don't want to be young again."
"I owe 30 per cent to genes, 30 per cent to good sex, 30 per cent because of sports and healthy lifestyle with proper nutrition and for the remaining 10 per cent – I have to thank my plastic surgeon," says the star of Barbarella and a gazillion Jane Fonda workout video's.
11-11-09
GALILEO FIGARO MAGNIFICO-O-O-O-O
When the great Italian astronomer Galileo first turned his telescope to the sky exactly 400 years ago, he could not possibly have known the can of worms he was opening.
Behold the Milky Way, circa 2009. ......
11-10-09
SAME OLD SONG AND GAS
When Joe Perry of Aerosmith was my guest DJ here on the Bone almost a month ago, he told me that he hadn't talked to Steven Tyler since the accident where Tyler fell off stage, badly injuring himself, and forcing the cancellation of the rest of the Aerosmith tour including our Tenth Anniversary Bone Bash.
He told me things we're "okay" with Steven Tyler, adding that “Aerosmith is taking a breather” and that he hoped the band would get back together in late spring to begin recording their next album and work out a tour for next fall, including a very important missed Bay Area date.
Now it appears that Aerosmith and Steven Tyler may actually be parting ways. As in, breaking up!
“Steven quit as far as I can tell,” Joe Perry said late last week. “I saw online that Steven said that he was going to leave the band. I don’t know for how long, indefinitely or whatever.” Perry said he and his fellow Aerosmith band mates usually have “no contact” with Tyler.
Just yesterday, Admiral Perry (Joe Perry's Twitter name) tweeted rapid fire on that very subject, beginning with "Aerosmith is definetly NOT breaking up. One of the members is doing his own thing and said so in the press. That's all I know."
Then it was, "Inthe meantime aerosmith is positivly looking for a new singer to work with. You just can't take 40 years of expiriance and throwitinthebin!" (sic)
And ending, "Aerosmith not splitting up. Promise that's the last you'll hear from me on the subject till we gear up again."
Joe Perry plays the Fillmore here in SF on Nov 25th.
11-9-09
AND YOU THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD.....
Not even. Judge Joseph A. Wapner is alive and well and living in Los Angeles while enjoying the life of a retired celebrity TV Judge and taking in an occasional game of doubles tennis or bridge with the wife.
The good judge turns 90 this weekend and to celebrate, he'll return to the People's Court to litigate a special case in honor of his birthday.
Current People's Court presiding Judge Marilyn Milian (babelicious in a courtroom kind of way) welcomes Judge Joseph A. Wapner back to the bench this Friday.
Big fun you're thinking. But have you ever wondered what might happen if the Honorable Judge Wapner isn't exactly in full control of his faculties nowadays? He IS turning 90, ya know.
Who's to say he isn't in the early stages of Alzheimers?
What if Wapner flips out and sentences somebody to death for cutting down his neighbors' cherry tree?
Don't forget, there's no Rusty the bailiff around to maintain decorum in the courtroom.
What if Judge Wapner is really like Marlon Brando in Acopalypse Now, "out there operating without any decent restraint, totally beyond the pale of any acceptable human conduct."
This guy could be dangerous.
Don't take the law into your own hands: you take 'em to court.
-Doug Llewelyn, People's Court host and court reporter
11-6-09
ACHTUNG BABY!
The Berlin Wall fell on November 9, 1989, ending almost 30 years of Cold War division. Yesterday in Berlin, right there at the historic Brandenburg Gate, U2 performed a free concert for 10,000 fans who we're given tickets in an online lottery.
Great show, except for a 6 1/2 ft fence that the promoter, MTV Europe, erected around the concert site, so nobody outside the fence could see the "free" concert inside!
How ironic. They built a wall around a free concert dedicated to the wall that already came down.
Btw, there is no truth to the rumor that the Hell's Angels were hired to work as security at the gig.
Did I disappoint you?
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
-U2, 1991
11-5-09
YOU GOTTA PROMISE NOT TO STOP
It's official. The Foo Fighters are splitsville. Or maybe just taking a breather.
Frontman Dave Grohl said, "I think the band decided to take a break, not because we wanted to stop making music, but because we thought the world needed to take a break from us."
While the Foo Fighters’ Greatest Hits album is out this week, Head Foo Grohl says that collections often feel like “an obituary.”
Leaving the door slightly ajar however, he did say that he knows where he wants to record the Foo's next album: "In my garage. I'm serious."
Pretty sweet 15-year run for the Foo Fighters. The best of you.
11-4-09
HOGAN KNOWS BASS
On January 23, 1984 Hulk Hogan won his first WWF Championship, pinning The Iron Sheik and being the first man to escape the Sheik's signature move, the camel clutch. On that date, Hulkamania was born and the Hulkster would soon become the most famous wrestler of all time.
Thing about it is, if wrestling hadn't panned out, he could have just as easily been a rock star. According to HulkHogan.com, he was in a rock & roll band called Ruckus and had a "gig as a professional studio bass player in Atlanta."
So how come the Rolling Stones never called when their bass player Bill Wyman left the group?
“I was in England presenting an award with Jerry Hall, Mick Jagger’s ex," says Hogan, "and she told me the Stones were looking for a bass player. I sent her a ton of merchandise that she asked for and said, ‘Tell Mick I’m a great bass player.’ I never heard a word back.”
Can't you just see the Hulkster pointing at Jagger, shaking his finger scoldingly, then landing three punches, an Irish Whip, the big boot and an Atomic Leg Drop, to finish that little wimp off?
And while we're on the subject, how come Metallica never called when their bass player Jason Newsted left the group?
“When Metallica was looking for a bass player, I called and never heard a word back from them either. I would have quit wrestling in a heartbeat to be a bass player for Metallica,” added Hulk.
Can't you just see the Hulkster charging into Metallica's rehearsal studio, ripping that yellow and red shirt off his body, flexing those guns, then cupping his hand to his ear before he puts the smackdown on wimpy Kirk Hammett?
I hate to say this, but if you drink a couple of beers sometimes, it makes your work-out easier.
-Hulk Hogan
11-3-09
RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO WHERE THE PHILLIES WON LAST NIGHT
Everybody's grandmother and dog has played the Spectrum in Philidelphia - the Dead played there 53 times, Aerosmith 23 times, Springsteen, Hendrix, Kiss, The Who, The Doors.
And speaking of The Doors, the Spectrum's doors closed for the last time with a spectacular Pearl Jam concert over the weekend! Pearl Jam wrapped up their four-night, sold-out stand, performing 103 different songs, and ending on Halloween with a marathon show of over 3 hours and 40 minutes
That was the final concert in the arena before it’s razed to make way for a hotel complex. Eddie Vedder and the boys took the stage in Devo jumpsuits and “energy dome” hats and launched into the band’s hit Whip It. (see video above)
The gigantic set list of P-Jam classics and obscurities also included Pink Floyd’s Another Brick in the Wall and Neil Young’s Rockin’ in the Free World and ended, finally, with a spectacular version of Yellow Ledbetter.
11-2-09
OLD GROUPIE, NEW BOOK, CASH IN
"If there had been a job description being employed by the Stones back then, I'm pretty sure it would have included a proviso that went something like this: Sleep with Mick whenever he asks," so says groupie Chris O'Dell who details her relationships with Mick Jagger and several other rock stars in her new book Miss O'Dell: My Hard Days and Long Nights with The Beatles, The Stones, Bob Dylan, Eric Clapton, and the Women They Loved.
Apparently this chick banged everybody from Jagger to Keith Richards to Bob Dylan and Ringo Starr and was somewhere in the middle of the Clapton-Harrison-Layla love triangle. George Harrison even wrote a song about her and in the book, she claims to have sung backup vocals on The Beatles Hey Jude.
Oh, and she did drugs with all of them, too.
Nowadays Chris O'Dell lives in Tucson, Arizona, has been clean for 20 years, got married this spring and now works as a substance-abuse counsellor.
10-31-09
HAPPY HALOWEED......AND THE WINNER IS!
10-30-09
FOO FIGHTERS LIVE IN CONCERT TONIGHT ON FACEBOOK FOR FREE EVEN
From the Foo's website: In a one-time only event commemorating their 15 years as a band and their first ever Greatest Hits compilation, Foo Fighters will perform an exclusive live over the internet concert from the band's own 606 studio complex this Friday October 30th at 7pm (PT).
In what will essentially be their only U.S. concert appearance in support of Greatest Hits, Dave Grohl, Taylor Hawkins, Nate Mendel and Chris Shiflett will bang out a career-spanning set webcast over both Facebook and Livestream, while allowing fans to comment, make requests and otherwise interact with the band in real time via Facebook and Twitter.
10-29-09
SCREWING AROUND WITH SEX
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
-Robin Williams
You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither.
-Steve Martin
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
-Woody Allen
Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships.
-Sharon Stone
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
-Tom Clancy
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
-Billy Crystal
According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgemental, where, of course, men are just grateful.
- Robert De Niro
10-28-09.jpeg)
MAJOR TOM'S A JUNKIE
Look for the new David Bowie biography, Bowie, by Mark Spitz (the writer, not the swimmer) to contain all kinds of juicy tidbits about cocaine and witchcraft, both of which apparently contributed to Bowie's "rapidly fragmenting psyche."
In the book, Spitz writes, "While planning the follow-up to Young Americans, Bowie would sit in the house with a pile of high-quality cocaine atop the glass coffee table, a sketch pad and a stack of books."
Bowie said, "I'd stay up for weeks. Even people like Keith Richards were floored by it. And there were pieces of me all over the floor. I paid with the worst manic depression of my life. My psyche went through the roof, it just fractured into pieces. I was hallucinating 24 hours a day."
Spitz adds, "Increasingly Bowie was convinced there were witches after his semen. They were intent on using it to make a child to sacrifice to the devil, essentially the plot to Roman Polanski's 1968 supernatural classic Rosemary's Baby."
David, you've really made the grade.
10-27-09
FROG SALAD?
Maybe you've read the story - Don't forget this brand of fresh lettuce, folks. What probably happened is, the water the lettuce was washed in contained polliwogs and these became fresh new frogs, right in the packages. So if you're looking for salad fixins with a little more body, then be sure and try this brand.
Ok, fun story but we hope you're not falling for it.
Certainly the frog looks real enough, but who's to say some guy didn't slit the back of the bag and slip in a cute little amphibian? C'mon. You know these kids nowadays.
Kermit the Frog, who was once Grand Marshal of the Tournament of Roses Parade, must be rolling his eyes on this one.
10-26-09
GET ON YOUR BUYS
As I sit waiting for the U2 concert at the Rose Bowl to begin (live on YouTube), I'm reading where Bono has been disappointed by the lack of success of U2's latest album No Line On The Horizon, saying that the band didn't "pull off the pop songs."
Which is correct. They didn't.
The album did go straight to the top of the charts in England and it has sold over a million copies, a figure that would make most groups envious.
U2, however, is the biggest band in the world right now and these fellas are used to thinking in the multi-millions.
2004's How to Dismantle An Atomic Bomb has sold 3.2 million copies to date and 2000's All That You Can't Leave Behind has racked up sales of 4.3 million. 1988's Rattle and Hum has sold almost 15 million copies.
Bono explains what he thinks happened: "We weren't really in that mindset and we felt that the album was a kind of an almost extinct species, and we should approach it in totality and create a mood and a feeling, and a beginning, middle and an end.
"And I suppose we've made a work that is a bit challenging for people who have grown up on a diet of pop stars."
Fair enough, but U2 on YouTube live from the Rose Bowl for free is awesomenistically badass, so WHO CARES!
I love this band. You too?
10-23-09
WHY NFL QUARTERBACKS NEED TO KEEP THEIR NAMES SHORT
10-20-09
OXYMORON - A figure of speech by which a locution produces an incongruous, seemingly self-contradictory effect
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on your watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
5. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
6. Why are they called "stands" when they're made for sitting?
7. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
8. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
9. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
10. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
11. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
12. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
10-19-09
BALLOON BOY BUBBLE POPS IN A JIFFY
Suckkkkkkers! Tell the truth. You fell for the Balloon Boy Bamboozle, didn't you?
Let's see......the father, Richard Heene, is a certified loon who believes in flying saucers and racing motorcycles into tornadoes.
Falcon Heene, the so-called Balloon Boy, told CNN's Wolf Blitzer that "we did this for a show" AND he was so nervous that he puked live on the Today Show.
The balloon and its cardboard box was held together mainly with duct tape and string and we're supposed to believe that there's a 37-pound boy on board?
Larimer County Sheriff Jim Alderden said, "It has been determined that this is a hoax. We believe that we have evidence at this point to indicate that it was a publicity stunt done with the hopes of better marketing themselves for a reality television show at some point in the future."
We're waiting for VH1's Behind the Balloon: The Rise and Fall of Falcon Heene.
Or the next episode of South Park.
10-16-09
JOE PERRY WITH AEROSMITH AT THE ORACLE PARTY ON TREASURE ISLAND, 10-14-09
Jim Crowley behind the camera - awesome shot!
10-15-09
JOE PERRY AND THE WEEDMAN - LOVE THIS GUY
10-14-09
JOE PERRY JOINS ME LIVE AT NOON TODAY
///Don't think the wife will be here, though
10-13-09
THERE AIN'T NO CURE.....
Sorry to report that Dickie Peterson, bassist/vocalist and founding member of a great San Francisco band, Blue Cheer, passed away yesterday in Germany. He was 61 years old. Peterson had been battling prostate and liver cancer, and according to Blue Cheer's website, had developed a fatal infection following surgery.
I was lucky enough to catch Dickie's band in concert a few times back in the day (playing their cover of Summertime Blues of course), and I gotta tell you that I wouldn't argue with any of these people who proclaim that Blue Cheer were the first "heavy metal" band.
I always dug how they opened their shows: "We're Blue Cheer, and this is what we do."
10-12-09
ANARCHISTS DON'T KNOW SQUAT
It was on this date in 1978 that one of the most famous squatters in history (squatter: illegal tenant), Sex Pistols bassist Sid Vicious, called the cops when he discovered his girlfriend Nancy Spungen had been stabbed at the Chelsea Hotel in New York City. Sid was arrested, charged with murder then died five months later.
Sid's father was a guard at Buckingham Palace, but his mother was a hippie who, later in a bizarre deathbed confession, said she injected her son with too much heroin on the night of his death saying, "There was no way that Sid would have been able to cope with life behind bars."
At one point in his life, Sid Vicious was a squatter with Johnny Rotten, also of the Sex Pistols. The two of them would play for money on the streets of London with Sid beating the tambourine. They played Alice Cooper covers, and people gave them money to be quiet.
No wonder Sid Vicious was also the hands-down world's worst bass player. Having been at the last Sex Pistols concert at Winterland here in San Francisco, believe me.....it was obvious.
Sid once asked Lemmy, the bassist of Motörhead, to teach him how to play bass with the words, "I can't play bass," to which Lemmy replied "I know."
Squatting is the oldest mode of tenure in the world, and we are all descended from squatters.
-Anarchist Colin Ward
10-9-09
MUST BE SOMETHING IN THE WATER
Whats wrong with you people in Boston?
At last Monday night's Kiss concert in Boston a woman was devotedly watching the show when suddenly she experienced “a warm feeling on the back of her leg.” The astonished woman turned around to see the source of the warmth, only to discover the man standing behind her was taking a leak.....ON HER!
A Kiss-piss, so to speak.
Not surprisingly, the police report noted that Chris Morris of Boston was “highly intoxicated,” slurring his speech while the thick musk of alcohol “emanated” from him.
Last spring, The Seaweed Page reported on a similar incident where a totally s**tfaced POLICE OFFICER allegedly exposed himself and urinated on a young couple from Connecticut at a Metallica show at the SAME CONCERT VENUE!
Gee whizz......don't you folks know that when it's time to drain the monster, they've got places called BATHROOMS?
I'm telling Gene Simmons.
10-8-09
GENE SLURPS DAVE
Actually, this might be what Dave Letterman needed to take his mind off his personal and professional turmoil - a "wet willie" from a guy with the worlds longest tongue, Gene Simmons of Kiss.
Kiss were the musical guest on Tuesday's Late Show, rocking the Ed Sullivan Theatre like it was a Madison Square Garden pyro-fest playing a track from their new Sonic Boom album, Modern Day Delilah.
Great intro from Dave: "We all shared a cab uptown earlier today," Letterman said, motioning to the band. "Our next guests are here to blow the roof off the dump, ladies and gentlemen, Kiss!"
The "KISS ALIVE 35 NORTH AMERICAN 2009 Tour" arrives at the Oracle Arena in Oakland for a big Bone show on November 22nd.
10-7-09
APPETITE FOR LITIGATION?
Say, does the name Ulrich Schnauss ring a bell?
Yeah, me neither but apparently he's suing Axl Rose of Guns N' Roses fame, for THIEVERY, and he wants a million dollars!
Ulrich Schnauss is a German electronic music producer who just filed a copyright infringement lawsuit claiming that the song Riad N' the Bedouins, from Guns N' Roses latest album, Chinese Democracy, used two of his recordings.
Look, I'm a low-rent blogger, not a high-powered attorney, but if this guy Schnauss was my client, I might have to advise him to drop this stupid lawsuit immediately.
Dude, even if Axl stole your tracks for the album, there is absolutely nothing to gain from being associated with one of the worst records in the history of mankind.
Have you no artistic integrity, Mr. Schnauss?
10-6-09
IS THIS GUY LION?
We think he's telling the truth. A garage owner in the Southwest part of the U.S. was sick and tired of thieves breaking into his shop and stealing his tools.
So he put the word out that he had a new Mexican Lion that would attack anyone that would break in or climb his fence.
Would-be thieves would see this Mexican Lion from a distance and just plain get the hell out of there!
Yeah, but did it work?
10-5-09
METALLICA MAMA MEETS MAHATMAS OF METAL
Nine years ago, Margaret Priebe turned on the radio and discovered Metallica's 1999 S&M album, recorded with the San Francisco Symphony......at the age of 76!
Last Saturday night, the now 85-year-old Metallica fan was invited backstage for a meet-and-greet with the boys prior to their Tampa concert.
According to the St. Petersburg Times, "She had never heard such a racket before — but she loved it. Last year, she endured a cancer battle with help from her trusty MP3 player, loaded up with Metallica, Judas Priest, Ozzy Osbourne. She's cancer-free now, but still cranks the tunes."
"I like Metallica - there's nothing wrong with them," said Margaret. "People think I'm weird. But I'm sorry, I like it loud."
James Hetfield dedicated the song Nothing Else Matters to Margaret at the sold-out concert.
Metallica played Atlanta last night, are off this week, then a mere 21 shows to go untill the big Bone Extravaganza Finale at the HP in San Jose on Dec 12th!
Click here to view past blogs from Steven...
11-20-09
COONHOUND TREES SELF INSTEAD OF RACOON
11-19-09
STEVEN TYLER PSYCHOANALYSIS
“He doesn’t act like a sober person”
-Aerosmith guitarist Brad Whitford.
“I hope that Steven takes the time to put the focus on Steven and get healthy and take care of himself”
-Aerosmith Drummer Joey Kramer.
“I never won any money trying to second-guess what goes on in Steven’s mind"
-Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry.
11-18-09
WHO'S DOING SUPERBOWL HALFTIME?
Correct. The Who will be playing during halftime festivities at Super Bowl XLIV, February 7th in Miami, to be broadcast on CBS.
Should be very exciting. Halfway through the Colts-Saints Super Bowl, Pete Townsend, Roger Daltrey and the boys will rock the joint bigtime!
What's that? Oh, it's not for sure about Indy and New Orleans?
Well it IS for sure that The Who will be onstage at Dolphin Stadium that day. They just haven't announced it yet.
Think it has anything to do with the fact that three of the CSI series on CBS use Who tracks — Who Are You, Won’t Get Fooled Again and Baba O’ Riley — as their theme songs?
Look for the official announcement on Turkey Day.
11-17-09
NO CONTEST
ARGENTINIAN PAMELA DAVID, OF THE CHILEAN TV GAME SHOW, NOCHE DE JUEGOS (Night of Games)
AMERICAN ROSIE O'DONNELL, FORMERLY OF THE U.S. TV SHOW, THE VIEW (Elisabeth Hasselbeck, bite me)
11-16-09
LEAD SINGER OF MISSING PERSONS FOUND IN JAIL
Dale Bozzio, lead singer of Missing Persons, was jailed last Thursday in New Hampshire on animal cruelty charges.
If you've never heard of this woman before, she was kind of like the Lady Gaga of the 80's; a more outrageous Gwen Stefani, perhaps
Bozzio, 54, is a singer and a former Playboy bunny. She did vocals for Frank Zappa’s album Joe’s Garage and used to have a band called Missing Persons.
Apparently neighbors found several sick, alive, and dead cats in her empty house. Bozzio says that the person she hired to take care of the cats while she was out of town never showed up, “I don’t want anyone to think I deliberately did harm.”
That said, she was convicted on one count of animal cruelty, sentenced to 90 days in jail, fined $2700 for euthanization of twelve cats and required to complete 250 hours of community service.
Dale Bozzio - Destination Unknown.
11-13-09
LET'S CATCH UP AFTER THE WEEKEND
11-1209
VIETNAM VETS NOT FONDA JANE
Time to move on.
It's been over 20 years since Jane Fonda apologized for her activities in North Vietnam during the war,".....to men who were in Vietnam, who I hurt, or whose pain I caused to deepen because of things that I said or did. I was trying to help end the killing and the war, but there were times when I was thoughtless and careless about it and I'm very sorry that I hurt them. And I want to apologize to them and their families."
Besides, Jane is about to turn 72 and she's still having great sex, and is about to get married for the fourth time, and plans to climb the Himalayas a year from now in spite of a new knee and a new hip made of titanium, "I'm happier, the sex is better and I understand life better. I don't want to be young again."
"I owe 30 per cent to genes, 30 per cent to good sex, 30 per cent because of sports and healthy lifestyle with proper nutrition and for the remaining 10 per cent – I have to thank my plastic surgeon," says the star of Barbarella and a gazillion Jane Fonda workout video's.
11-11-09
GALILEO FIGARO MAGNIFICO-O-O-O-O
When the great Italian astronomer Galileo first turned his telescope to the sky exactly 400 years ago, he could not possibly have known the can of worms he was opening.
Behold the Milky Way, circa 2009. ......
11-10-09
SAME OLD SONG AND GAS
When Joe Perry of Aerosmith was my guest DJ here on the Bone almost a month ago, he told me that he hadn't talked to Steven Tyler since the accident where Tyler fell off stage, badly injuring himself, and forcing the cancellation of the rest of the Aerosmith tour including our Tenth Anniversary Bone Bash.
He told me things we're "okay" with Steven Tyler, adding that “Aerosmith is taking a breather” and that he hoped the band would get back together in late spring to begin recording their next album and work out a tour for next fall, including a very important missed Bay Area date.
Now it appears that Aerosmith and Steven Tyler may actually be parting ways. As in, breaking up!
“Steven quit as far as I can tell,” Joe Perry said late last week. “I saw online that Steven said that he was going to leave the band. I don’t know for how long, indefinitely or whatever.” Perry said he and his fellow Aerosmith band mates usually have “no contact” with Tyler.
Just yesterday, Admiral Perry (Joe Perry's Twitter name) tweeted rapid fire on that very subject, beginning with "Aerosmith is definetly NOT breaking up. One of the members is doing his own thing and said so in the press. That's all I know."
Then it was, "Inthe meantime aerosmith is positivly looking for a new singer to work with. You just can't take 40 years of expiriance and throwitinthebin!" (sic)
And ending, "Aerosmith not splitting up. Promise that's the last you'll hear from me on the subject till we gear up again."
Joe Perry plays the Fillmore here in SF on Nov 25th.
11-9-09
AND YOU THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD.....
Not even. Judge Joseph A. Wapner is alive and well and living in Los Angeles while enjoying the life of a retired celebrity TV Judge and taking in an occasional game of doubles tennis or bridge with the wife.
The good judge turns 90 this weekend and to celebrate, he'll return to the People's Court to litigate a special case in honor of his birthday.
Current People's Court presiding Judge Marilyn Milian (babelicious in a courtroom kind of way) welcomes Judge Joseph A. Wapner back to the bench this Friday.
Big fun you're thinking. But have you ever wondered what might happen if the Honorable Judge Wapner isn't exactly in full control of his faculties nowadays? He IS turning 90, ya know.
Who's to say he isn't in the early stages of Alzheimers?
What if Wapner flips out and sentences somebody to death for cutting down his neighbors' cherry tree?
Don't forget, there's no Rusty the bailiff around to maintain decorum in the courtroom.
What if Judge Wapner is really like Marlon Brando in Acopalypse Now, "out there operating without any decent restraint, totally beyond the pale of any acceptable human conduct."
This guy could be dangerous.
Don't take the law into your own hands: you take 'em to court.
-Doug Llewelyn, People's Court host and court reporter
11-6-09
ACHTUNG BABY!
The Berlin Wall fell on November 9, 1989, ending almost 30 years of Cold War division. Yesterday in Berlin, right there at the historic Brandenburg Gate, U2 performed a free concert for 10,000 fans who we're given tickets in an online lottery.
Great show, except for a 6 1/2 ft fence that the promoter, MTV Europe, erected around the concert site, so nobody outside the fence could see the "free" concert inside!
How ironic. They built a wall around a free concert dedicated to the wall that already came down.
Btw, there is no truth to the rumor that the Hell's Angels were hired to work as security at the gig.
Did I disappoint you?
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
-U2, 1991
11-5-09
YOU GOTTA PROMISE NOT TO STOP
It's official. The Foo Fighters are splitsville. Or maybe just taking a breather.
Frontman Dave Grohl said, "I think the band decided to take a break, not because we wanted to stop making music, but because we thought the world needed to take a break from us."
While the Foo Fighters’ Greatest Hits album is out this week, Head Foo Grohl says that collections often feel like “an obituary.”
Leaving the door slightly ajar however, he did say that he knows where he wants to record the Foo's next album: "In my garage. I'm serious."
Pretty sweet 15-year run for the Foo Fighters. The best of you.
11-4-09
HOGAN KNOWS BASS
On January 23, 1984 Hulk Hogan won his first WWF Championship, pinning The Iron Sheik and being the first man to escape the Sheik's signature move, the camel clutch. On that date, Hulkamania was born and the Hulkster would soon become the most famous wrestler of all time.
Thing about it is, if wrestling hadn't panned out, he could have just as easily been a rock star. According to HulkHogan.com, he was in a rock & roll band called Ruckus and had a "gig as a professional studio bass player in Atlanta."
So how come the Rolling Stones never called when their bass player Bill Wyman left the group?
“I was in England presenting an award with Jerry Hall, Mick Jagger’s ex," says Hogan, "and she told me the Stones were looking for a bass player. I sent her a ton of merchandise that she asked for and said, ‘Tell Mick I’m a great bass player.’ I never heard a word back.”
Can't you just see the Hulkster pointing at Jagger, shaking his finger scoldingly, then landing three punches, an Irish Whip, the big boot and an Atomic Leg Drop, to finish that little wimp off?
And while we're on the subject, how come Metallica never called when their bass player Jason Newsted left the group?
“When Metallica was looking for a bass player, I called and never heard a word back from them either. I would have quit wrestling in a heartbeat to be a bass player for Metallica,” added Hulk.
Can't you just see the Hulkster charging into Metallica's rehearsal studio, ripping that yellow and red shirt off his body, flexing those guns, then cupping his hand to his ear before he puts the smackdown on wimpy Kirk Hammett?
I hate to say this, but if you drink a couple of beers sometimes, it makes your work-out easier.
-Hulk Hogan
11-3-09
RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO WHERE THE PHILLIES WON LAST NIGHT
Everybody's grandmother and dog has played the Spectrum in Philidelphia - the Dead played there 53 times, Aerosmith 23 times, Springsteen, Hendrix, Kiss, The Who, The Doors.
And speaking of The Doors, the Spectrum's doors closed for the last time with a spectacular Pearl Jam concert over the weekend! Pearl Jam wrapped up their four-night, sold-out stand, performing 103 different songs, and ending on Halloween with a marathon show of over 3 hours and 40 minutes
That was the final concert in the arena before it’s razed to make way for a hotel complex. Eddie Vedder and the boys took the stage in Devo jumpsuits and “energy dome” hats and launched into the band’s hit Whip It. (see video above)
The gigantic set list of P-Jam classics and obscurities also included Pink Floyd’s Another Brick in the Wall and Neil Young’s Rockin’ in the Free World and ended, finally, with a spectacular version of Yellow Ledbetter.
11-2-09
OLD GROUPIE, NEW BOOK, CASH IN
"If there had been a job description being employed by the Stones back then, I'm pretty sure it would have included a proviso that went something like this: Sleep with Mick whenever he asks," so says groupie Chris O'Dell who details her relationships with Mick Jagger and several other rock stars in her new book Miss O'Dell: My Hard Days and Long Nights with The Beatles, The Stones, Bob Dylan, Eric Clapton, and the Women They Loved.
Apparently this chick banged everybody from Jagger to Keith Richards to Bob Dylan and Ringo Starr and was somewhere in the middle of the Clapton-Harrison-Layla love triangle. George Harrison even wrote a song about her and in the book, she claims to have sung backup vocals on The Beatles Hey Jude.
Oh, and she did drugs with all of them, too.
Nowadays Chris O'Dell lives in Tucson, Arizona, has been clean for 20 years, got married this spring and now works as a substance-abuse counsellor.
10-31-09
HAPPY HALOWEED......AND THE WINNER IS!
10-30-09
FOO FIGHTERS LIVE IN CONCERT TONIGHT ON FACEBOOK FOR FREE EVEN
From the Foo's website: In a one-time only event commemorating their 15 years as a band and their first ever Greatest Hits compilation, Foo Fighters will perform an exclusive live over the internet concert from the band's own 606 studio complex this Friday October 30th at 7pm (PT).
In what will essentially be their only U.S. concert appearance in support of Greatest Hits, Dave Grohl, Taylor Hawkins, Nate Mendel and Chris Shiflett will bang out a career-spanning set webcast over both Facebook and Livestream, while allowing fans to comment, make requests and otherwise interact with the band in real time via Facebook and Twitter.
10-29-09
SCREWING AROUND WITH SEX
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
-Robin Williams
You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither.
-Steve Martin
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
-Woody Allen
Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships.
-Sharon Stone
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
-Tom Clancy
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
-Billy Crystal
According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgemental, where, of course, men are just grateful.
- Robert De Niro
10-28-09
MAJOR TOM'S A JUNKIE
Look for the new David Bowie biography, Bowie, by Mark Spitz (the writer, not the swimmer) to contain all kinds of juicy tidbits about cocaine and witchcraft, both of which apparently contributed to Bowie's "rapidly fragmenting psyche."
In the book, Spitz writes, "While planning the follow-up to Young Americans, Bowie would sit in the house with a pile of high-quality cocaine atop the glass coffee table, a sketch pad and a stack of books."
Bowie said, "I'd stay up for weeks. Even people like Keith Richards were floored by it. And there were pieces of me all over the floor. I paid with the worst manic depression of my life. My psyche went through the roof, it just fractured into pieces. I was hallucinating 24 hours a day."
Spitz adds, "Increasingly Bowie was convinced there were witches after his semen. They were intent on using it to make a child to sacrifice to the devil, essentially the plot to Roman Polanski's 1968 supernatural classic Rosemary's Baby."
David, you've really made the grade.
10-27-09
FROG SALAD?
Maybe you've read the story - Don't forget this brand of fresh lettuce, folks. What probably happened is, the water the lettuce was washed in contained polliwogs and these became fresh new frogs, right in the packages. So if you're looking for salad fixins with a little more body, then be sure and try this brand.
Ok, fun story but we hope you're not falling for it.
Certainly the frog looks real enough, but who's to say some guy didn't slit the back of the bag and slip in a cute little amphibian? C'mon. You know these kids nowadays.
Kermit the Frog, who was once Grand Marshal of the Tournament of Roses Parade, must be rolling his eyes on this one.
10-26-09
GET ON YOUR BUYS
As I sit waiting for the U2 concert at the Rose Bowl to begin (live on YouTube), I'm reading where Bono has been disappointed by the lack of success of U2's latest album No Line On The Horizon, saying that the band didn't "pull off the pop songs."
Which is correct. They didn't.
The album did go straight to the top of the charts in England and it has sold over a million copies, a figure that would make most groups envious.
U2, however, is the biggest band in the world right now and these fellas are used to thinking in the multi-millions.
2004's How to Dismantle An Atomic Bomb has sold 3.2 million copies to date and 2000's All That You Can't Leave Behind has racked up sales of 4.3 million. 1988's Rattle and Hum has sold almost 15 million copies.
Bono explains what he thinks happened: "We weren't really in that mindset and we felt that the album was a kind of an almost extinct species, and we should approach it in totality and create a mood and a feeling, and a beginning, middle and an end.
"And I suppose we've made a work that is a bit challenging for people who have grown up on a diet of pop stars."
Fair enough, but U2 on YouTube live from the Rose Bowl for free is awesomenistically badass, so WHO CARES!
I love this band. You too?
10-23-09
WHY NFL QUARTERBACKS NEED TO KEEP THEIR NAMES SHORT
10-20-09
OXYMORON - A figure of speech by which a locution produces an incongruous, seemingly self-contradictory effect
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on your watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
5. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
6. Why are they called "stands" when they're made for sitting?
7. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
8. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
9. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
10. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
11. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
12. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
10-19-09
BALLOON BOY BUBBLE POPS IN A JIFFY
Suckkkkkkers! Tell the truth. You fell for the Balloon Boy Bamboozle, didn't you?
Let's see......the father, Richard Heene, is a certified loon who believes in flying saucers and racing motorcycles into tornadoes.
Falcon Heene, the so-called Balloon Boy, told CNN's Wolf Blitzer that "we did this for a show" AND he was so nervous that he puked live on the Today Show.
The balloon and its cardboard box was held together mainly with duct tape and string and we're supposed to believe that there's a 37-pound boy on board?
Larimer County Sheriff Jim Alderden said, "It has been determined that this is a hoax. We believe that we have evidence at this point to indicate that it was a publicity stunt done with the hopes of better marketing themselves for a reality television show at some point in the future."
We're waiting for VH1's Behind the Balloon: The Rise and Fall of Falcon Heene.
Or the next episode of South Park.
10-16-09
JOE PERRY WITH AEROSMITH AT THE ORACLE PARTY ON TREASURE ISLAND, 10-14-09
Jim Crowley behind the camera - awesome shot!
10-15-09
JOE PERRY AND THE WEEDMAN - LOVE THIS GUY
10-14-09
JOE PERRY JOINS ME LIVE AT NOON TODAY
///Don't think the wife will be here, though
10-13-09
THERE AIN'T NO CURE.....
Sorry to report that Dickie Peterson, bassist/vocalist and founding member of a great San Francisco band, Blue Cheer, passed away yesterday in Germany. He was 61 years old. Peterson had been battling prostate and liver cancer, and according to Blue Cheer's website, had developed a fatal infection following surgery.
I was lucky enough to catch Dickie's band in concert a few times back in the day (playing their cover of Summertime Blues of course), and I gotta tell you that I wouldn't argue with any of these people who proclaim that Blue Cheer were the first "heavy metal" band.
I always dug how they opened their shows: "We're Blue Cheer, and this is what we do."
10-12-09
ANARCHISTS DON'T KNOW SQUAT
It was on this date in 1978 that one of the most famous squatters in history (squatter: illegal tenant), Sex Pistols bassist Sid Vicious, called the cops when he discovered his girlfriend Nancy Spungen had been stabbed at the Chelsea Hotel in New York City. Sid was arrested, charged with murder then died five months later.
Sid's father was a guard at Buckingham Palace, but his mother was a hippie who, later in a bizarre deathbed confession, said she injected her son with too much heroin on the night of his death saying, "There was no way that Sid would have been able to cope with life behind bars."
At one point in his life, Sid Vicious was a squatter with Johnny Rotten, also of the Sex Pistols. The two of them would play for money on the streets of London with Sid beating the tambourine. They played Alice Cooper covers, and people gave them money to be quiet.
No wonder Sid Vicious was also the hands-down world's worst bass player. Having been at the last Sex Pistols concert at Winterland here in San Francisco, believe me.....it was obvious.
Sid once asked Lemmy, the bassist of Motörhead, to teach him how to play bass with the words, "I can't play bass," to which Lemmy replied "I know."
Squatting is the oldest mode of tenure in the world, and we are all descended from squatters.
-Anarchist Colin Ward
10-9-09
MUST BE SOMETHING IN THE WATER
Whats wrong with you people in Boston?
At last Monday night's Kiss concert in Boston a woman was devotedly watching the show when suddenly she experienced “a warm feeling on the back of her leg.” The astonished woman turned around to see the source of the warmth, only to discover the man standing behind her was taking a leak.....ON HER!
A Kiss-piss, so to speak.
Not surprisingly, the police report noted that Chris Morris of Boston was “highly intoxicated,” slurring his speech while the thick musk of alcohol “emanated” from him.
Last spring, The Seaweed Page reported on a similar incident where a totally s**tfaced POLICE OFFICER allegedly exposed himself and urinated on a young couple from Connecticut at a Metallica show at the SAME CONCERT VENUE!
Gee whizz......don't you folks know that when it's time to drain the monster, they've got places called BATHROOMS?
I'm telling Gene Simmons.
10-8-09
GENE SLURPS DAVE
Actually, this might be what Dave Letterman needed to take his mind off his personal and professional turmoil - a "wet willie" from a guy with the worlds longest tongue, Gene Simmons of Kiss.
Kiss were the musical guest on Tuesday's Late Show, rocking the Ed Sullivan Theatre like it was a Madison Square Garden pyro-fest playing a track from their new Sonic Boom album, Modern Day Delilah.
Great intro from Dave: "We all shared a cab uptown earlier today," Letterman said, motioning to the band. "Our next guests are here to blow the roof off the dump, ladies and gentlemen, Kiss!"
The "KISS ALIVE 35 NORTH AMERICAN 2009 Tour" arrives at the Oracle Arena in Oakland for a big Bone show on November 22nd.
10-7-09
APPETITE FOR LITIGATION?
Say, does the name Ulrich Schnauss ring a bell?
Yeah, me neither but apparently he's suing Axl Rose of Guns N' Roses fame, for THIEVERY, and he wants a million dollars!
Ulrich Schnauss is a German electronic music producer who just filed a copyright infringement lawsuit claiming that the song Riad N' the Bedouins, from Guns N' Roses latest album, Chinese Democracy, used two of his recordings.
Look, I'm a low-rent blogger, not a high-powered attorney, but if this guy Schnauss was my client, I might have to advise him to drop this stupid lawsuit immediately.
Dude, even if Axl stole your tracks for the album, there is absolutely nothing to gain from being associated with one of the worst records in the history of mankind.
Have you no artistic integrity, Mr. Schnauss?
10-6-09
IS THIS GUY LION?
We think he's telling the truth. A garage owner in the Southwest part of the U.S. was sick and tired of thieves breaking into his shop and stealing his tools.
So he put the word out that he had a new Mexican Lion that would attack anyone that would break in or climb his fence.
Would-be thieves would see this Mexican Lion from a distance and just plain get the hell out of there!
Yeah, but did it work?
10-5-09
METALLICA MAMA MEETS MAHATMAS OF METAL
Nine years ago, Margaret Priebe turned on the radio and discovered Metallica's 1999 S&M album, recorded with the San Francisco Symphony......at the age of 76!
Last Saturday night, the now 85-year-old Metallica fan was invited backstage for a meet-and-greet with the boys prior to their Tampa concert.
According to the St. Petersburg Times, "She had never heard such a racket before — but she loved it. Last year, she endured a cancer battle with help from her trusty MP3 player, loaded up with Metallica, Judas Priest, Ozzy Osbourne. She's cancer-free now, but still cranks the tunes."
"I like Metallica - there's nothing wrong with them," said Margaret. "People think I'm weird. But I'm sorry, I like it loud."
James Hetfield dedicated the song Nothing Else Matters to Margaret at the sold-out concert.
Metallica played Atlanta last night, are off this week, then a mere 21 shows to go untill the big Bone Extravaganza Finale at the HP in San Jose on Dec 12th!
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